“A desire is anything but frivolous. It is the
interface between you and that which is greater than you. No desire is
meaningless or inconsequential. If it pulls you, even a little bit, it will
take everyone higher…every desire is of profound importance with huge
consequences, and deserves your attention.”
- Mama Gena
Desire gets a bad rap in yoga. In some yoga schools it is considered to
be what draws us away from our spiritual practice, but in Tantric philosophy
desire is what can draw you in, because every longing, urge or impulse comes to
us from the Divine. On the the tattva chart, Tantra's "map of
creation", willpower or desire is second only to Shiva and Shakti, the
masculine and feminine aspects that make up the Absolute at it's absolute
highest. The Divine, Unmanifest's first impulse to bring anything and everything
into creation comes from this deep level of being, and so do all our desires
and impulses even in the physical realm where we live our day to day lives.
Sadashiva is one of the Absolute tattvas,
making up not a place, but, as Christopher Wallace in Tantra Illuminated says:
"the Divine Reality that pervades the whole of the manifest universe....
The five absolute tattvas [of which sadashiva,
or desire, is the third] are essentially a description of the Divine Source of
all Being."
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| 36 Tattvas of Tantrik Cosmology - from Christoper Wallace's book Tantra Illuminated |
So…from this we learn that desire is essential. And all our desires, every
one we have, flow from that part of ourselves. If you take the time you can
trace every one of them back. Now, when we trace them back we see that
not all of them lead us in the direction that we want to head in in any
particular moment. We acknowledge that at any given time many aspirations
may be arising and of course we can't act on all of them. When we want to
live a life of meaning and sustainability we have to be discerning about which passions
we choose to pursue, and we have to inquire deeply into what the real impulse
is behind what we are going after.
So allow me to share a process I recently went through in trying to decide
whether to make a certain purchase. Out shopping one day I happened to see a
pair of boots that I immediately decided I really, really wanted. I longed for
these boots. Showing some rare self-restraint I didn't buy them on the spot because of course I most decidedly
did NOT need these boots, but I did go home and look them up online, tried to
find them cheaper, and kept visiting them on the store's website for a few
days. As I agonized as to whether or not to buy them I did a little
exercise. Why were these boots so important to me?
The
week before, a friend was wearing a pair just like them at an event we
were at together. She looked really good in them, very stylish, and I
admired
them. At this event were also some other women I happened to not know as
well as she did, and she seemed so comfortable and at ease. She fit in
so
beautifully and I admired her poise and grace. I was not feeling
particularly comfortable or at ease. File it in the mental Rolodex.
When
I was out shopping the next week and saw this pair of boots, the file
gets
activated. Boots = fitting in, ease, poise, feeling comfortable. On the
superficial level what happens is – I have to have the boots!! But
deeper…what did I really want? Connection. Yes, again on a superficial
level connection with the other women I was with, but intrinsically what
I want
is to feel connected on an unshakable level, I want to know it as the
truth of
my being, that I am intimately connected to all of creation by the
thread that
weaves us all. To feel loved, feel at ease…that’s what I want. Which of
course has nothing to do with a pair of boots.
If you know me, you know I indulge my boot (and clothing, handbag,
jewelry...) desires more often than I should. If I'm being particularly
mindful I avoid buying unnecessary items and seek out the deeper connections I
am looking for in the form of yoga practice or a walk with a friend or date night
with my husband. But I also recognize that these desires are part of what
makes me who I am, which is someone who deeply believes in the joy of
self-expression and adornment as a way to connect to and celebrate the beauty
of the physical Universe, which is also part of Tantric practice. As always it’s a delicate balance.
Yoga gives us the opportunity to tune in to our hearts, to get in touch
with our desires and the impulses behind them. When we attune ourselves to our
highest we remember that the Universe chose to embody and become each and every
one of us to feel Itself through the vehicle of our bodies and spirits. If you
deny those impulses, the deepest longings of your heart, you deny the Universe
the experience of YOU. You were made manifest to shine the light only you can
shine. Every desire you have fuels that flame and urges you to burn
brighter, so indulge them when you can in a meaningful way, choose wisely, and
shine on!
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| Urdhva Dhanurasana with feet on a chair |
Off the Mat:
I'll invite you to the following exercise: Close your eyes. Where is
your heart pulling you? What do you really want right now - it can be
anything at all - there is no right or wrong answer to this. Once you're
clear on where your heart is pulling you, begin to trace that impulse back to
its source. Why do you want it? What benefit will it bring you?
What is the feeling associated with having whatever it is? Let this be
the intention for your practice this week – to follow the pull of your heart.
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| Dragon Catching its Tail |
On the Mat:
Desire
is the pull you feel in your heart towards something. In
Anusara-speak, Shoulder Loop is the physical expression of that
pulling.
When we move the tops of the shoulders and head back, and bring the
bottom tips
of the shoulder blades into the back of the heart, the chest opens and
lifts
and we feel an openness and liberation. We literally feel the heart
pulling us forward and we just have to follow it. Work on poses like
Ustrasana, Dhanurasana, Purvottanasana, Dragon catching its Tail and
Urdhva
Dhanurasana. I worked on UD a lot this week with my feet on a chair to
get my upper arms really vertical and my heart way out in front (if the
chair feels too high you can do this with feet on 2 blocks at the wall,
or feet on a step).
For the Anusara Junkies:
Open to Grace: Set your hands/feet
to reflect your desire to align with your highest intention to connect.
Ground yourself in what you long for.
Line up hands/feet and line up with your yearning for your highest self.
Muscular Energy: Engage your muscles
and engage with the part of yourself deep inside from where all yearning flows.
Firm muscles and ignite your craving for _____________ (whatever your
desire/intention is)
Shoulder Loop:
Bring bottom tips of shoulder blades into your back and let your heart be
pulled in the direction it wishes to go.
Feel your longing like a tether hooked to the bottom tips of your shoulder
blades pulled forward through front of your heart.
Organic Energy: Shine the light of your
passion from your deepest, transcendent heart.
Spread the light of devotion from the seat of your desire out to the world.
